The abnormality was diagnosed by amnio when I was 15 weeks pregnant. I received my results two weeks after the amnio to tell me personally by telephone that our baby boy had Downs . It was the 3 December 98 a ten to four . My world fell apart - how could I have been that one out of 300, and why had it happened to us.

I feel life is very hard without having a disability like Downs - who would look after him when I was too old but how could I give up my precious baby - how could I end his life. We finally reached our decision that the best thing we could do for our baby was to end the pregnancy - we felt we had made the right decision for him which was the hardest thing for us.

We had a burial service on the 19/12/98 in our local cemetery. It is now ten months since Nathan but the pain has been unmeasurable - the grief, the guilt and the terrible loss of our son. I still feel for him we made the right choice but for us it was the most difficult one.

Our good news is that I am pregnant again. I had a nuchal fold estimation and an amnio with a special FISH that went to Glasgow and we got the preliminary results in 48 hours. They looked at chromosomes 13, 18 and 21 for any trisomys which were all clear and the amnio came back after two weeks as normal - the stress of the wait was unbearable.

Michelle adds to the reading:
Since Nathan we've gone on to have two healthy little boys, a little one who's now four and a new baby sixth months old, so there is life after.

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